July 31, 2003

Brief Encounter With Moby: It's a Freebie, Not a Fetish

henever we have a few minutes and an empty stomach, we like to click on thesmokinggun.com and browse its archive of "backstage riders," in which performers demand how their dressing rooms be furnished. JENNIFER LOPEZ, you've surely heard, cannot live without her dressing room decorated entirely in white, except for the flowers: yellow roses with red trim.

BOB DYLAN requests ashtrays. Give STING "fresh, skinned and grated ginger root" and a bottle of "full-bodied red wine."

MARIAH CAREY demands Cristal Champagne and "bendy straws," and all kinds of vanity mirrors, air purifiers and humidifiers.

For SINATRA, it was a full liquor cabinet and a carton of Camel no-filters, baby.

So when we spotted that pioneer of techno music and downtown geek chic, MOBY, at a movie screening on Tuesday night, we were prepared.

We asked why promoters must furnish him with "10 pairs of white cotton crew socks and 10 cotton boxer shorts."

"Oh underpants!" he interrupted excitedly. "Yeah, but it's not for me. It's for everybody on my tour. When I travel, there's like 12 of us on tour, and a lot of time, you're too busy to go shopping for socks and underpants."

This historic exchange occurred at a screening at the Tribeca Grand Hotel for "American Splendor," an independent film about HARVEY PEKAR, the comic strip writer who frequently worked with the cartoonist R. CRUMB.

" 'Cause, you know, jeans you can wear for a week straight," Moby explained. "T-shirts you can always get, 'cause you're selling T-shirts, but socks and underpants are really hard to come by."

"No, I don't have a underpants fetish," he said.

He introduced his petite, blond companion, KELLY TISDALE. They run a tea shop downtown, are fixing up a house upstate, and they co-own a dog. Ms. Tisdale stood by her man on the underwear issue. "I think it's really logical, in that most artists just don't think of it," she said.

Traditionally, Moby explained, punk rock bands would "sleep in a van and they couldn't afford socks and underpants, so sometimes, instead of getting paid, they'd get paid in socks, underpants and food."

"It's not fetishistic," he repeated. "It's the practical aspect of, `It's nice to have clean socks and underpants.' "

We asked why he is hated by EMINEM.

"It's just strange being hated by someone you've never met," he said. "I was surprised but kind of flattered to have the most successful musician in the world go out of his way to pay that much attention to me. If nothing else, it's flattering."

GLENN CLOSE and ROGER BART arrived at the screening, straight from the set of "The Stepford Wives," the 1975 movie they are remaking, which co-stars NICOLE KIDMAN, MATTHEW BRODERICK, BETTE MIDLER and CHRISTOPHER WALKEN.

Ms. Kidman, rumor has it, is seeing JUDE LAW, who is divorcing his wife, SADIE FROST, but Mr. Bart said he has seen no sign of Mr. Law on the set.

After the film, we told Ms. Close and the publicist BOBBY ZAREM that we were recently assaulted by "Gigli," Ms. Lopez's and BEN AFFLECK'S new film.

"It's that bad?" Ms. Close asked. We told her J-Lo plays a lesbian who finally falls for Mr. Affleck's mobster character.

"What was she thinking?" Ms. Close asked. "Didn't she read the script?"

"They never read the scripts," Mr. Zarem hissed, and they walked to the nearby restaurant, 66, Ms. Close's limousine trolling close behind.

At 66, we sat near ANN DEXTER-JONES, who told us she was "taking a break" from her husband, MICK JONES, of the rock band Foreigner. Ms. Dexter-Jones has five infuriatingly accomplished children and is working on five books simultaneously. Oh, and she has Reiki healing powers.

She said she was more than just a "rock wife" but added, "Don't describe me as a socialite."

We asked HUGO GUINNESS, artist and member of the Guinness beer family, if Guinness really is good for you. He said he didn't drink, but yes. "It's the iron," he said.

When he got up, Ms. Dexter-Jones whispered, "Don't quote me, but his sister SABRINA used to date PRINCE CHARLES."

   with Paula Schwartz